I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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