You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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