Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize