you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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