Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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