I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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