two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
