We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
