You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize