I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
