I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
