This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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