Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
