It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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