i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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