omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
