1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
