when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
