he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
