Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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