it was like his penis was on wheels.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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