I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
