there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
