i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
