yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
