I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize