sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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