wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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