the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
