lets start a swedish sibling band together
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
