no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
