help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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