plz talk dirty to me
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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