I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
