): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
