After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
