no, he came in my armpit
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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