My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
