That's intense
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
