when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
