did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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