Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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