Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
