Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
