that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
