There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
