new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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