i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
