I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
