Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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