Have you finally orgasmed yet?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
