where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
