walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
