Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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