You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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