Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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