I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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