Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
