Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
