he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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