They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
