porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize