just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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