Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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