Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
