Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize