There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Four minutes until I can fart!
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
