What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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