I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
