I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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