One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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