just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
