i already hear my dad disowning me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
