Buhtt sex?
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Randomize